Oh, to be in England

"If I was French, it would be simple; I''d commit crime passionel in a riot of garlic and vin ordinaire. And if I was German, I''d invoke the phantom of the Fuhrer and get hacking. In America, the husband generally shoots the family first, then takes a dozen high-powered rifles up some bell tower and blasts away at the town. But I knew the English way was the only way, God help me. You make a bloo...