Pay Up Or Fall Behind

I thought hiding my parents on a remote island made me a genius. Turns out, the bad guys have GPS, and now my parents are gone. So here is my totally foolproof, completely sane new plan: walk into a hospital, convince a bunch of skeptical doctors that my blood literally kills cancer, and use them to broker a multi-million-dollar deal with Big Pharma. Easy, right? I just need to sell my body to sci...