She'll Take It

I, Melanie Zeitgar, do solemnly swear I will never shoplift again. Ever!*

*Exceptions: Break-ups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don''t get a call back, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from Mom, no phone calls from CLOML (Current Love of My Life), and any other unforeseen tragic bouts of stress. Amen...