Vampire Movies Suck

Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula? It has armadillos in it! Fortunately, misanthropic film critic Mr. Satanism is here to put all...