Who is Tom Ditto?

We join the action just as our ‘hero’ Tom, (early thirties, reads the ‘news’ on the radio) finds out that his girlfriend has NOT left him.

Tom,

I have not left you. But I am gone.
Please carry on as normal.
Love always,

Hayley

Has Hayley gone or hasn’t she? Is she coming back? If she has gone, but is coming back, when is she coming back? And what is he supposed to bloody do in the meantime?

And wha...