Custardly Wart: Pirate (third class)

At the Dankmarsh School for poor orphans, the childen sleep four to a bed and exist on watery porridge. Teachers don''t last long, and so when a new one arrives they are intrigued, especially since he has an eyepatch a huge moustach and calls himself the Captain. Miss Scrubshaw interviews him for the post, though he and his cousin ''Mr Mate'' seem most interested in the ancient map on her wall. Th...