How it Works: The Baby (Ladybird for Grown-Ups)

THE PERFECT GIFT for those deluded fools who are expecting a little miracle . . .

Allyce is taking Rainbeau to a local mother-and-baby group. It takes her forty five minutes to pack the bag with the change mat, nappies, wipes, nappy bags Sudocrem, milk, muslins, teething powders, rice cakes, bibs, Calpol, spare clothes, dummy, first aid kit, Mr Bun-Bun and hand gel.

The playgroup is two minutes awa...