Secret Olympian

The vast majority of us can only dream of being an Olympic-level athlete - but we have no real idea of what that means. Here, for the first time, in all its shocking, funny and downright bizarre glory, is the truth of the Olympic experience.

It is an unimaginable world:

• the kitting-out ceremony with its 35kg of team clothing per athlete
• the pre-Olympic holding camp with its practical jokes, resentme...